Katherine and I met when we were young. We grew up in small town, rural Mississippi; in a town where everyone knows each other on a first name basis. All anyone would have to do is mention mine or her father's name and immediately they would know to whom we belonged. Our parents weren't clued in on the beginning of our relationship. We would talk on the phone three-way with our mutual friends, play footsie under the dinner table when our families would meet and have dinner on Fridays. We would see each other out and about around town in social circles and really enjoyed each others company from the very start! Once, I was allowed to accompany her to her grandparent's in Indiana for the summer, well we got found out! Our mothers were summoned immediately! We were discovered and in big trouble! We were forced to separate. I was grounded for an entire year, no friends, no tv, no events, no phone calls, no anything... We were heartbroken. Eight months of loving one another and it was all ripped away.
Then one year we both ended up back in our home town after years of being away, we met on occasion to have lunch and catch up. Saw each other at mutual friends homes and around town would see one another out and immediately spend time together, but we were both in different relationships. That's how our oldest Jayden came to be. Well, by complete Serendipity we both moved to Austin, Texas within six months of one another. When I arrived, she helped me unpack the moving truck, helped me settle into my apartment. Just a week later, she called in the early am, needing a place to crash, her and her then partner, had a fight and she was scared. She joined me and my daughter, and we lived together a year, then our old flames were too much to bare. We made the decision to be together and never look back. We've had family to disown us for being together. We've had the most precious child added to our family since our union, Jocilyn "Marie". When we became pregnant with Marie, I was working full time at Austin State Hospital for the severe mentally ill. Katherine was working full time at a werehouse in town operating the fork lift and handling logistics. We had a nice townhome and was looking forward to a fresh start. Unfortunately, I was in a car accident, got put on bedrest and couldn't work after five months. We were quickly affected monitarily and moved back to Mississippi to live with Katherine's father until taxes came, and we could get a townhouse in Hattiesburg and her return to gardening and landscaping full time. It was six weeks, six very uneasy weeks with her mother ignoring us, her father barely having anything to say, tension could be felt all around. My favorite times, is when we had Katherines childhood home to ourselves. As the baby grew inside me and their arrival grew closer, not many felt happy for us. It seemed we were the only ones besides my friends that truly cared. No baby showers were had, no fun reveal parties were thrown, nothing. Not until the day they were born, at the hospital the people that came brought gifts in hand, but many didn't show.. Even those that came to Jayden's birth. I knew who really cared and who didn't, for it was plain to see. We had some drama here and there and family divided over the entire thing. So, here we were in Hattiesburg, a toddler and a newborn, one income. We were living pay check to pay check and still getting help from family to get by. Nine months passed in Hattiesburg, Marie saw five months in our home. In September, someone stole a significant amount of money from my wallet. That was our electric bill and rent. Katherine had recently come out at work as transgender. Things weren't going well for her, she had co-workers threatening her, the boss over looking it, the bosses father being harder on her since coming out and a general feeling of discrimination, minus two individuals on the crews. After spending nineteen days seeking help after our funds were taken, five local churches and three charities turned us down for assistance and allowed our family to become homeless. We had no one to turn to and left our home, facing eviction, no power for 6 days. We crammed as much as we could in our dodge neon, us and our two kids and hit the road for the west! We made Denver it two days and travelled Colorado cleaning homes and doing lawn work when physically able. We spent a year in Colorado and it was much too cold; we gained a camper van, improved our situation as much as possible and still trying. We've met some incredible people along the way, saw beautiful territory and have some interesting stories to share!
2 Comments
10/22/2017 04:01:25 am
Very useful post. This is my first time i visit here.
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James
10/22/2017 09:38:08 am
Glad you are here to read and share our experiences.
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Authors:James and Katherine are a transgender couple raising two kids. They were southerners when coming to understand themselves as trans. Ultimately it lead to a nearly three year road trip to find home. Now they are re-housed and still focused on outreach in the transgender community! Archives
October 2020
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